Feminist book club- better than a date?!

Yet another fantastic evening at Feminist book club, we were discussing The Myth of Mars and Venus, a very interesting read which dispels the myths that women talk more than men; men are more direct in their language, amongst other myths. There were lots of new members today, the table I reserved at Drink, Shop, Do was quickly submerged as more and more people arrived. I do love DSD but as it gets more popular, it gets more lively which makes it less suited to our purpose.

I came home full of the evening, telling Magda about the various debates, the lack of takers for the feminist porn on friday by the newbies and as I spoke with genuine enthusiasm, I was reminded of the excited debrief you have with friends after a date. Feminist book club is one of the more exciting things that I do and initially I thought it couldn’t be more exciting than a date (I haven’t been on a date for a while) . Then I remembered all the boring dates I’ve been on; where I’ve had to carry the conversation and looked for a spark of intellectual commonality and suddenly FBC with all its consistently interesting, lively debating, genuine questioning is better than many dates I’ve been on.

So thank you for FBC and the many lively minds and friends that come along- Livia & Doerthe being the pleasant surprise guests this evening.

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Day 8 & 9- The Weekend rollercoaster

I had not considered that during the weekends I might not have the time to blog so forthwith I will be doing a bumper weekend special. Unless something extra special happens!
 
Sat 8th October.
So after a romantic misunderstanding, I was feeling particularly sorry for myself but I am lucky enough to have lovely house mates that listen, dissect and rationalise with me when I am not clear headed. I am also thankful for old friends that listen and have my best interests at heart. And cook amazing food!
And I am most thankful for a conversation with my Dad. I had been speaking to him in veiled terms about relationships (or lack thereof!), life satisfaction etc and whilst he told me in no uncertain terms that I need to just do things and stop over thinking and worrying over everything, he did so in a quite a gentle way for him. And I was really touched when he said that he does think of me a lot. My dad and I have a rather practical relationship and he isn’t emotional at all, so that was very nice to hear. And him telling me to just get on with things was very useful when I woke up in the early hours, feeling cold and alone. I made a plan…
 
 
Sunday 9th October
 
The plan was to do some job applications, followed by cleaning my room and putting up some pictures and if there was any time after that, only then could I succumb to my misery. Its similar to the internal bargaining some of you may do with buying clothes and shoes- only I do it with emotions!
 

And I have almost finished the applications; decided to put up that LOVELY picture that Rachael gave me, which led to me putting up pictures up in my room and some new one’s in the front room, which then led me sorting out the book shelf that Rachael had also gave me, so I have had a mini room make over. This makes my room actually look like it belongs to me, so I am pleased about that Sometimes its the smallest things that make a difference and then it is a domino effect. (I should know this- I am a life coach!)
However after all of my indoor pursuits, I was ready to chum Ed to the shops- the furthest I’d been to outdoors was chain smoking on my balcony, doesn’t really count as outside. So off we went to……………. Tesco’s. Yes Tesco’s. But that wasn’t the highlight.
 


As we walked home, I noticed Gillespie Park and as I hadn’t been there before and was in a walking mood, myself and Ed went inside. And I am very glad I did, because there were lots of trees and a little woody walk, for few minutes at least you would believe that you were no longer in London. Sometimes I have an unarticulated urge to not be in London, and it was nice to walk and have the lovely illusion of having left the city. So I am glad that I explored somewhere new and yet on my own doorstop.

Day 6

Today I don’t feel that grateful
In fact I feel quite stupid and used.
This morning I would have said ‘I’ve had a ball’
This evening, I’m jaded & bruised.


You may say I must be careful,
When bringing boys back to the yard
For recklessness cloaks the deceitful
Oh my, have I learnt my lesson hard.


That pleasure meets pain daily,
And those twins will not be denied
Pleasure seduces you oh so gaily
When pain attacks, you are surprised.


Today I was rudely reminded,
Of those fools who trample on dreams
Please beware of those so lustful
And ignore their siren screams.


The best thing about today was stroking a lovely puppy, all wriggly, warm and cute.

Day 5- Thankfulness

Today has been hard, I woke up at 5am this morning and spent the day with a group of children who seemed hard wired to ignore the word ‘listen’. Well that’s what it felt like! I am also feeling a bit run down from all my excess at the weekend. 


However as I am committed to writing this blog, I had a good think this evening about what was good today and this afternoon stood out. Today I worked with a child with severe special educational needs. This is only the second time I had done this so I am a complete novice where SEN is concerned but today I felt really pleased that I was able to communicate with her and was understood although she cannot really speak; and that I helped her to finish her homework -writing the letter ‘h’. I also helped her brother make a card, so I felt I was of use to some children and there is a lovely, warm feeling when you help a child to do their homework or learn something new. I might, just might have touched a well of patience I didn’t realise I had, I guess only time will tell if this is true or not…


Other than that, I am really pleased that I had the house to myself this evening and that I was able to stuff myself with pizza and cake whilst watching Gossip Girl. I was in real comfort mode this evening so have spent the evening in bed, wearing my Dad’s old golfing jumper.

Day 4- Thankfulness

I’m rather tired this evening so this will be short: I am glad that I can create rapport with young people which hopefully will lead to me being able to help them in the future. Also I am thankful for old friends, that when you see them, even after a long time, it is as if you saw them only a few days ago.

Day 3- Thankfulness

So on my way home thinking about what I could write here today, I thought that today had been pretty average, with not much to be thankful for. Well except for having some eye candy at work. However that was not exactly what I had in mind for this blog and general self improvement, so I thought about it more carefully and came up with three things:
  1. My colleagues bought me a fantastic lipstick that I wore this morning, it really  suited me and I am lucky to have such lovely colleagues who buy me great makeup!
  2. That at work, I am able to put across Ideas (buying Articulate for interview shy teenagers) and I am encouraged and supported.
  3. That I have friends that will treat me to Nando’s when I am skint; and listen to me without judging me.
That was it I thought when I arrived home, already slightly cheered by recognising these small things. But more good things were to come as there were two letters for me on the dining room table. I opened the first which I correctly guessed was from Hattie & Ed- a voucher for a Life Class at the School of Life. I had mentioned to Hattie on our way to Northallerton that if I had the money I would treat myself to some classes at the School of Life. And now I can. Thank you Hattie and Ed! Secondly I had a card, and from the handwriting I guessed it was from Stef, my old university housemate. It was from her and it was a belated birthday card which was another nice surprise. So thank you Stef.